My boyfriend passed away Sunday March 2nd 2014. We were in a long distance relationship. Adam was from Tennessee and I am from New York. I had not seen him since August. He flew in Thursday February 27th to see me. He was supposed to come the weekend before but his flight was cancelled because of the weather. He came and we had the most amazing weekend. He took me out to a late Valentines Day dinner. We spent a lot of our time cuddling and watching movies. He surprised me Saturday night with a dozen roses.
Saturday night to Sunday morning we talked and cuddled until 5am. At 5am we both said that we were tired and we were ready to get some sleep. He was staying in the guest room downstairs and my room was upstairs on the second floor. He walked me up to my room, tucked me in, kissed me goodnight and told me that he loved me. We continued to text from our rooms until 6:05am. 6:05 is when we finally said goodnight.
At 6:15 I heard a loud pounding at my door. It was Adam. He was crouched over and making groaning noises. I kept saying “Baby, what’s wrong?” But he couldn’t talk. I laid him down on the floor and went to call 911. I sat there next to him holding him until the police and ambulance came, but Adam stopped breathing before they made it to my house. I was the last person he saw. He took his last breaths in my arms. I had to watch the love of my life die right before my eyes, right outside of my bedroom door.
They tried to revive him but they couldn’t.
Adam has had a history of heart problems. When he was 8 he had a surgery to close a tear in his heart. After the surgery they told him that he would live a long and healthy life. The cause of Adam’s death was the tear they closed in his heart so many years ago ruptured. The doctors said the only way he could have been saved was if he was on an operating table at the moment it happened. They said even if he had an MRI the week before, they wouldn’t have been able to detect that the tear would rupture. There was nothing anyone could do.
I flew to Tennessee for the funeral. I met his family and friends for the first time. They were so sweet to me and kept thanking me, telling me that ever since he met me he has been the happiest that they have ever seen him. They thanked me for giving him the most amazing last few days of his life. His parents told me that I’m the closest thing to Adam that they have now. His dad kept hugging me and kissing me on the head. The mom told me that she considers me a daughter in law. I sat with the family at the funeral and had to say goodbye to the love of my life.
Now all I have left of him is a few sweatshirts of his, some cologne and the love letters he wrote me. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was only 21. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. We had a future. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I guess he did. But I wanted the same. How am I supposed to move on from this and be happy?
I know one day I will be reunited with him in heaven, and until then I have a guardian angel. My guardian angel.
You used to call me your perfect little angel, but I know now that you were the angel. You are an angel. My angel. My perfect little angel. I love you baby boy and I will never ever forget you. I’m sorry we couldn’t spend more time together. You were my everything, my entire world. If I could I would have taken your place in a heart beat. I will never forget you.
Rest In Peace Adam Pappas <3 I love you with all of my heart. Please watch over me. I love you always and I will always carry a piece of you wherever I go.
If you have read this entire post than please keep me and his family in your thoughts and prayers. <3